I always feel better after writing. When journaling for myself, writing is a release. What started as venting about my annoying little sister when I was ten has morphed into something that, no matter when or for how long, always makes me come away more relaxed. When writing fiction, I have that overwhelming and powerful sense of creation. This is bigger than me.
After writing something for the magazine, I feel accomplished. Even little blurbs, even ones that will go to press without my name on them. Of course, the ones that have my name on them, and the longer the articles are, the more accomplished I feel. I have a sense of relief. A momentary reprieve from the constant nagging need to Do Something. And then, in the wake of accomplishment, I feel drive. I am motivated to do more. What can be next, what more could I write, what longer piece?
The week before last at the internship was fabulous. On a Wednesday afternoon, my editor comes over to me and asks me if I want to write a blurb. (I love how she asks me – as if I’d say no!) Then she says, I’m sorry to throw this at you, but the woman for you to interview is on the phone Right Now! No time to prepare – this was new. I’ve worked under deadline, felt like I had no time to write, but I’ve always had time to prepare. Luckily my editor is wonderful and always gives me a head start – what direction to go in, a few questions to ask – and the woman I interviewed was lovely and loquacious. I had a good draft done by the end of the day – just needed to put in some pricing – and I had it e-mailed to my editor that night, so it was “on her desk” by the next working day.
The following afternoon, I had an in-person interview. With a tape recorder and everything. It was brief, and there will be no byline, but I will know that my work went into a feature article. It is also incredibly thrilling to be given these assignments, because it serves as validation. It means that somebody has noticed how hard I’m working, how much I want this, and it means that the work I’ve been turning out has been good enough to warrant more. Certainly it was a hyperbolic introduction, as the editor must have wanted my interviewee to feel comfortable and not foisted off onto an intern, but her praise made me want to dance. “Taylor is one of our star interns,” she said. A star intern! Really, it just makes me hungry for more.
Today, I got assigned a 500-word article. The longest yet, in a whole new section! I battle worry that for one reason or another, it won’t actually happen. But mostly my excitement is pervasive.